how you wore or treated the watch had no bearing on the problems you encountered ... then your disappointment is certainly understandable.
Yours is not the first post of this nature and others have had issues with watches that ultimately result in mounting levels of frustration only exacerbated by delay after delay. And these delays are long delays now.
When buying the watch, a multitude of superlatives are used to described how wonderful the piece is ... only the finest materials, the finest finishing, built for the next generation ... and on and on. And, you feel excited and happy to have made the purchase until .... you have an experience such as you have described.
So, what is reasonable to expect from Patek with respect to manufacture and service? When 50,000 watches are produced at the highest level, what is a reasonable percentage to have problems and on the service end, what is a reasonable percentage to have problems. 1%, 4%, 7%? I guess those numbers would be within a statistical acceptable range .... as long as it's not my watch. When it touches us, then reason is sidelined regardless of what others may say and your pride of ownership turns into something altogether different.
The key to this is your AD. They should have asked questions to determine if possibly the problems may have resulted from you or if it was a manufacturing issue. Maybe they forgot to tell you how to wear the watch or maybe during the sales talk, you didn't hear it. They are in the position to help you, they can better relay the issues to Patek's service after you have fully explained to them the issues you've experienced.
Being in the jewelry business, I make it a point to inform clients how to wear their jewelry (and watches as well) and what they can expect if they don't. Even with that, I see clients on the golf course with their Pateks on and when they come in because of an issue and saying that this watch was so expensive and shouldn't have a problem not to mention they shouldn't pay for it, then I remind them of seeing them tee off on the 15th tee and all of a sudden, things die down, the truth comes out and the service is done. And still, I see them on the golf course! Go figure.
Patek is not a heartless firm, even though their lack of communication may make you think so, they want and need their customers to be satisfied. They just need to know they are making it very difficult to do just that with experiences as yours.
My suggestion, have the AD handle it until it is right and when you get it back, you may look back as say it was worth it afterall.