TimeOut

Forumners,

 

I preface this by declaring that I'm not your average man.......No  -  I'm not coming out of my closet    Its just that I'm a little unconventional.  My 'Best Man' at my wedding was a lady.....an ex-dancing partner from when I used to wear lurid Spandex costumes with puffed sleeves.....hmmm....maybe I am coming out of the closet?  Seriously, we were a competitive dance team....well actually, we were a competition dance team  --  just not competitive.

But I digress.  Someone sent me this list and as I went through it, I could not refute anything. Thus, I had to conclude, like Sherlock Holmes, that when one has eliminated everything else, whatever remains, however impossible, must be the truth....

Regards, MTF

 

 MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house

 

This message has been edited by MTF on 2009-07-02 18:13:47

Very funny stuff MTF!

-MW

My favorite?

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Amen to that!

Daos

But in my book a successful woman is one who can make more  money herself than she can spend.    

Enjoy the holiday

G

You are so right!    Have a great weekend!

Cheers,
Daos

I had to laugh at all of them!

Really funny, MTF!

Of course all these cliches are not true in one sense and at the time ever so true in another sense. There definitely is a true core to many of these sex prejudices.

But this should not be a justifiable excuse, should it?

Best,

anaesdoc

WARDROBE

My woman occupies all wardrobes in the master bedroom and still claim that she has not enough ...

I have to use one tiny wardrobe in guess room.

 

SHOES

My woman has so many pairs of shoes that she has lost count and still add more in her collection ...

I have 8 pairs of shoes.

 

Regards

Ling

idem dito here

Filip

... you have a candid-camera in my house somewhere ???

Filip

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Some of the points you put forward are not working the same way for me ..
So does that make me "A Happier Woman" ? Hahahaha....

Examples;

Whenever I go out for meals with my friends, it is always a "take turn" in paying the bills.
No calculators are out. But , yesss! Our BBs are all out to mark our next meal together!

In bathroom, I have about equal numbers of stuffs with my better half ! (".)

My shoes are as many as my man's..... Phewwwww....

Ah, well... My man is indeed happier than me because:
There are plenty nice watches around with lotsa complications to choose from whereas for me (as less ' happier woman') there are
only a handful, if not a few watches to screen through
among the glitzy bling bling lady watches....yaaawn..

Cheers,
Linda

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