("accusations" might be a bit strong, but probably appropriate) you make about this forum, its moderators, and participants.
We do take matters of courtesy and community respect very seriously; the "tone" of the site is as important to us as the "content."
On the other hand, life is about making choices, and it is our privilege, but also our burden, and responsibility, to "guide" this community as we see fit. What is not obvious are the deeper, more complicated issues that don't concern the "general community" but which would definitely effect the "overall experience" for all if not addressed by the moderators and management of the site.
Most end up being judgement calls.
We don't hold ourselves to be perfect, nor do we feel we always have the "right answers."
But I do hope we remain consistent and loyal to our founding principles, and always remain open to legitimate expressions of concern.
Specific examples would be helpful, of course; general statements where we ourselves don't see the underlying or causal specifics only add to frustration and possible misunderstanding.
Sincerely,
TM