Let me start by saying that I applaud the manner in which you wrote your post, and wish others would use it as a model when voicing displeasure.
As for the content of your post, I see both sides of the equation to be honest. I am currently working on a write up about the AP Restoration Workshop. It as an amazing, amazing area atop the original Audemars house where the vintage pieces are worked on. Perhaps your watch was even there when I was there... there were a good handful of pieces that were being evaluated for service.
I completely understand AP not sending these specific hands out to other service centers. There are 2 watchmakers at AP Le Brassus that handle all vintage restorations. If I owned that watch, I would insist upon it being worked on at the factory by these master watchmakers and not another service center. That said, I'm sure the Clearwater watchmakers could handle it, but the policy on vintage pieces is strict.
I'm afraid I can also understand their requirement for doing a movement service while having it opened. Aside from the cost, is there a reason why you would not want that done while the watch was there?
Perhaps the only thing I could fault AP for here was not conveying the policy to you before the watch was sent in. When Axelle and Derek insisted you only wanted the hands changed, a simple "we won't do that" would have saved the time, shipping expense, and much of the aggravation for you. I'm sure you would still have been disappointed, but at least your hopes would not have been alive for a few extra weeks.
From AP's side, surely it was a non-AP watchmaker that would have changed the hands in the first place. On such a vintage piece, I understand them wanting to have it in proper order if they were already going to be working on it. From your side, you did not want to spend thousands of dollars you felt were unnecessary, and we would all agree in principle that should be your decision.
For the record, AP is so committed to the restoration of vintage timepieces that they actually work on pieces from other brands. The make new parts when necessary - by hand - just as it was done over a hundred years ago. They take it very seriously.
I feel for your disappointment Tony and wish I could help. Your comments are fair and I'm sure will not go unnoticed.