A. Lange & Söhne

SJX
[Purist]
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Why the Datograph is a very good watch but not the best

When you lay eyes on the Lange Datograph, you are immediately hit by its presence, the sheer luxury and quality which makes it eminently superlative – superlative just like an officially certified Rolex chronometer.

So what makes the Datograph superlative? First, it is cased in platinum (do not even think of a mere gold Datograph, which is for little people). Platinum is rare and platinum is expensive. Wars have been fought for control of platinum mines. The best type of blonde is a platinum blonde. And there is no greater card than a platinum card; admittedly the Amex Centurion is not platinum but at least it is black, just like the Datograph.

Not only is the Datograph cased in platinum, but the crown and chronograph pushers are also in platinum. Now that is real fusion – the most expensive metal combined with even more of the most expensive metal. Furthermore, the Datograph is offered with the option – but it is actually a necessity – of possibly the most expensive deployant buckle ever made. Hewn out of solid platinum, the Datograph deployant retails for the ungodly sum of $6400. The only way that could get better if the platinum case and buckle were coated in diamond hard, titanium-aluminium-carbon-nitride-nitrite-nitrate-nitrogen PVD-coating for the “stealth” look, which everyone knows is the most important design trend in the history of the timepiece.

Best of all, the Datograph is a chronograph, and it is a universally acknowledged that the ultimate timepieces are chronographs. Just look at the Royal Oak Offshore and Big Bang. But what sets the Datograph apart from other chronographs is that it is made in-house. Yes, in-house, or to use that proper watchmaking term, it is a manufacture movement. And why is an in-house movement superior? Well if you have to ask…

Not only is the movement in-house, but the bridges and baseplate are made of German silver, a metal so fine and delicate that exposure to improper handling will ruin it completely. But imagine how much better the Datograph could be if those parts were made from Titanic steel? Imagine!

And the Datograph offers a date display, not just any date display, but a patented large date that is inspired by the opera clock of the Royal Saxon court. Imagine a date inspired by a royalty! That’s nearly as good as a watch created by a descendant of a brother of Emperor Napoleon.

But nothing in the world is perfect, the Datograph has one shortcoming - it lacks a polished steel cap on the column wheel. That is depressing since the best chronograph in the world, the Patek 5959, has that feature. That’s not a fatal flaw, it’s akin to using 316L instead of 904L stainless steel, or like wearing a tie without a tie clip – bad but not catastrophic.

NB: For those who haven’t realised it yet, this was written in jest, tongue in cheek. So to clarify, the ultimate timepieces are not chronographs, not the Big Bang and Offshore; everyone knows the ultimate watches are diver’s watches and the best of them is the Rolex Sea-Dweller DeepSea with original patented helium escape valve. Also, the best chronograph is not the Patek 5959, it simply cannot be, because the 5959 is still in production. The best chronograph is clearly the 5070 and 5970 which are being discontinued. And if the 5960 is discontinued that will become the best chronograph EVER since it is discontinued, a Patek, and it’s in-house.

- SJX