TimeOut

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An elderly couple celebrates their 50th wedding anniversary.

After the celebrations, the woman turns to her husband:

> Woman “Well, dear! What do you want me to wear tonight? The white nightgown, the silver one or the gold one? "

>> The husband replies: "Darling, wear whatever you want: it's the same for me!"

The woman then decides to surprise him: she lets herself be found naked in bed. 

As soon as her husband sees her he says to her: "So you decided to put on the pink shirt?... At least you could iron it!"

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Mom to her little girl: "Why do you put all the books in the refrigerator?" and the child: "the teacher told me that I have to refresh the subjects!"

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> Him : Shall we change position? 

>> Her : Yes which one? 

> Him : In the ear. 

>> Her : What if I become deaf? 

> Him : I don't think you've become mute!!!

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What is the difference between a dove and a woman? 

The dove is the bird of peace

The woman is the peace of the bird.

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A child suddenly enters his parents' room and finds them having sex and asks him: 

> Mom, why are you jumping up and down on daddy? 

>> The mother: Uh ... I try to deflate his belly ... 

> The child: This is useless because every morning my auntie comes and inflates it again!!!

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> Husband to wife: “Honey, we need to move. I just discovered that the concierge has been with all the women in the building except one ... "" 

>>Yes, I know "replies his wife" It's the unpleasant one on the third floor! "

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MAN is like bluetooth: it is connected to you when you are nearby, but searches for other devices when you are away. 

The WOMAN is like WiFi: it searches for all devices, but connects to the most powerful.

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Naples (IT), underground construction sites open for 30 years. 

An old man approaches the workers and asks: 

"Sorry, you have been digging for thirty years. But this subway, are you doing it or are you looking for it? ”.

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